Friday, March 29, 2013

Take A Seat On The Rainbow, Just Be Sure To Put The Lid Down First

Hi Everyone!
It's meeee Bruce!

"Hey guess what? I saw a rainbow while 
I was at the park yesterday. Not only did I 
just see it, I was at the very end of it!
Or maybe it was the beginning, but I was
right where it touched the ground!
I even passed through it."

"Do you want to know what was at the end of this rainbow?
Was there glitter, gold or a unicorn perhaps? 

"There was a portable toilet.
No seriously, there was a toilet at 
the end of the rainbow."

"I felt so betrayed. 
I was so upset about the rainbow toilet, 
I actually had to use the toilet that was
at the end of this rainbow. I think a Skittle may 
have even popped out of my butt."

"Taste the rainbow."


"Also unimpressed."

"Unimpressed, but sexy."

"I think I just threw up all the lies
ever told to me about rainbows. Lies!"

"Fairytale dreams crushed forever!"

We hope you have a great weekend!

Monday, March 25, 2013

The Log Was Large, And It Glistened Like Magic Next To The Lake

Hi Everyone!

Did you have a nice weekend?
Bruce, Daisy and I went to the park on Saturday.
The weather was amazing and these two had
the park all to themselves.

"Heck yes! We're going to the park. Let's ride!"

"I saw a guy wearing bike shorts the other day. 
The shorts were too tight. Waaay too tight.
I thought to myself, why? Also, why was he
riding a skateboard instead of a bike?
I've been thinking about this all day,
and I still can't figure it out."

"I know why his shorts were too tight.
It's because his cheeks were too muscular.
I'm a genius." 

How many snacks did you 
bring with you today? Smokin' soy balls, what do
you mean you only brought two bags of snacks? 
I specifically told you to bring three!"

"If you were my personal assistant, 
I would have fired you by now. I'm totally kidding.
Or am I?"

"Can we go skinny dipping in the lake?"

"Whoa, you mean we can't?"

"Exactly why not?"

"How come people stare at us when we come 
to the lake? Have they never seen two sexy
pugs posing on a log before?"

"Speaking of logs, we have some business 
we must attend to. Wink wink."

"We must drop a log. Now!"

We hope you have a great Monday!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

They Were Hungry For Garnishes And Cheesy Omelets

Hi Everyone!
What are you up to this week?

Bruce and Daisy have been taking it easy lately.
Here is a photo story of what these two have been up to.

"Hey, guess what happened the other day?
My mom twisted her ankle. Yep, that happened.
We were out for a walk on this steep path, and she
just went down for the count. It was awesome!
I was glad she didn't roll too far down the hill
though, because I probably would 
have rolled down with her."

"This is what the path looked like."

"I just wanted to give you a visual in case you 
were wondering. The path really isn't that steep. 
My mom is just super clumsy."

"I once saw her fall over a fire hydrant. I did! True story."

"Bruce! I am in the middle of telling a story!"

"Wait, what was I just saying?"

"Can we swing by Denny's later?"

"I'm in the mood for an extra cheesy omelet.
I've been trying to get healthier lately, so I'll
probably see if they can sprinkle some lettuce
on the side of my plate. Like a sexy
lettuce garnish or something."

"Being healthy is so easy!
All you need is a garnish.

"I don't need a garnish. Look at this body."

We hope you have a great week!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

She Wears Fuschia Sparkly Spandex Shorts While Browsing The Clearance Items At Petco

Hi Everyone!
It's meeeee Daisy!

"You will not believe what happened to me the other day.
I was strutting my stuff down the aisles of Petco, when all of
a sudden, I spotted this bad boy of a bear toy on clearance!
I mean, finding a toy like this on clearance is just about 
as rare as seeing a golden unicorn sliding down a 
water slide at Raging Waters."

"I love bargain shopping so much. 
It makes my butt cheeks tingle every time I find a great deal.
Has that ever happened to you before?"

"I wish I could find more bargains like this.
Bargains are awesome! You know what else is awesome?
Soap on a rope, super glittery nail polish, pug t-shirts and
pop-up business cards are awesome. Yep, someone handed me 
one of those pop-up business cards the other day. It blew my mind."

"What? You don't believe me?"

"We need more toys on clearance, and we need them now!"

We hope you are having a great week!

Monday, March 11, 2013

Mondays Are For Scrambled Eggs And Sunshine Spots

Hi Everyone!
Can you believe it's Monday already?

"This can't be happening. Why are you waking me
up at 7:00 am on a Monday? I thought it was Friday?
What's happening? I can't feel my feet.
Tell me!"

"Oh, are we filming this?
In that case, let me turn on the sexy."

"Daisy has lost it. She is not a morning pug.
I don't love Mondays or Mornings either, but I 
can tolerate them as long as I have someone 
waiting on me and tending to my every need."

"That reminds me, I need you to bring me
some Kool-Aid and my fuzzy man slippers.
Fuzzy man slippers now! If it's not too much trouble,
I would also like some scrambly eggs and a New
York Times."

"Are those eggs done yet?"

We hope you have a great Monday!

Friday, March 8, 2013

He Sneaks Up Behind You Like A Ghost In The Night

Hi Everyone!
It's meeee Daisy!

I want to show you a few photos of what I have
been up to lately. Maybe I should rephrase that.
Here are some photos that capture what I have
been putting up with lately:

"Bruce! You are totally being a 
butt sniffer right now!"

"I feel so violated! 
Does anyone have any beans?
Bruce loves beans. Maybe beans will distract
him from getting all up in my business.
He is so sneaky. Like a ghost in the night."

"Bruce! I thought we just had a 
conversation about you sniffing my butt cheeks!"

"If this is any indication of what my weekend is
going to be like then I'm in big trouble."

"I'm thinking about going for some nachos this weekend.
Do you want to come with me? I might leave the butt sniffer 
at home, but I'm still undecided."

We hope you have a great weekend!