Wednesday, August 29, 2012

He Made Himself Comfortable By Cozying Up To A Giant Fluffy Pillow And A Pay Per View Movie

"Oh, hello. I didn't even know you were there."

"While you were in the other room, I jumped in the bed 
and made my wiener right at home."

"I also changed the channel and ordered 
a movie on Pay Per View."

"Do you want to cuddle with me and watch the movie?"

"Before we cuddle, I have to tell you a secret."

"I farted on your pillow."

We hope you have a great Wednesday!

Monday, August 27, 2012

They Like To Wear Leotards In The Morning And Sip Juice With Fancy Straws In The Evening

Hi Everyone!

How was your weekend?
We kept it pretty low key around here.
We went to the park, we ate, we crafted and we slept.

"The camera adds ten pounds. 
Bring me my sexy juice, and don't forget the fancy straw."

We hope you have a great Monday!

Friday, August 24, 2012

The Weekends Are For Pug Farts And Smiles

Hi Everyone!

It's almost the weekend!
Bruce and Daisy are going to take full advantage
of this weekend by throwing themselves a little party.
What do you have planned for the next few days?

"Did someone say party? 
I'll bring the snack mix, the Michael Jackson music, 
the disco ball and the video camera. Bruce is still pretty 
tired from the party we had last night,  
but I'm ready for more!"

"Alright, I'm awake now. I need to swing by Target 
and pick up some items. I need a pair of sexy new boxers 
and a gallon of milk before the fun kicks off."

"I'm thinking of taking out an ad for a personal pug shopper.
Bruce and I need a personal shopper badly. We could be planning 
this party more efficiently and sunning ourselves naked in the 
living room right now if we had someone to do our 
shopping. Any takers? I'm willing to pay in 
pug farts and smiles."

We hope you have a great weekend!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

She Rolled Her Pug Butt In Some Sprinkly Dirt

Hi Everyone!

How is your week going so far?
Bruce, Daisy and I were out on a walk the other day,
when Daisy suddenly spotted a large area of dirt.
Daisy couldn't resist. She had to make a mess
in this dirt. It was now or never.

"I don't really see any dirt. Oh you mean this 
stuff on my feet? That's not dirt. I think you might
be seeing things. Speaking of dirt, you have some crumbs 
on your face. I'm offended you didn't share your snack with me.
You're making this about me and my feet, but the problem here 
is that you don't share all your snacks with me. 
That's a problem. You have a snack sharing problem."

"I told Daisy it wasn't a good idea to play in that dirt. I was like,
Daisy, you are going to smell like poo if you take a bath 
in that dirt. I've seen a lot of cat poop in that dirt. I would 
never bathe in dirt mixed with cat poo. Do you see 
this man pug face? This is the face of an angel."

"Can you make me some mash potatoes and gravy 
before you run my bath? Mash potatoes 
and gravy now!"

We hope you have a great Wednesday!

Friday, August 17, 2012

The Grass Was Tall And The Secrets On The Lake Were Floating Above The Water

Hi Everyone!

Bruce, Daisy and I went to Magnuson Park in Seattle
a few weeks ago. This was our first time at this park,
and we had a lot of fun! Here are some photos
of that day.

"It's really beautiful out here."

"I'm glad it's a nice day. I think the weather will distract people 
from the noise coming from my butt. And by noise, I mean my farts."

"Geeze Daisy. I am standing right under the bench you are 
sitting on! Are you trying to gag me? If someone snaps a photo 
of me gagging on your farts, it would ruin my image."

"Can we go down this path? It says no beach access, 
but rules don't usually apply to me."

"This could be trouble. The last time we went down a path 
that said no entry, I ended up butt naked in a pool of nacho cheese."

"Did someone say nacho cheese? I suddenly have a craving for 
crunchy tortilla chips. Crunchy tortilla chips now!"

"I have a secret. I have been keeping this secret locked 
in my butt for the past two days, and I need to release it. 
I bought a pair of gold flats from Zappos the other day. 
I charged them to my moms Paypal account, and she 
doesn't know yet. It feels good to release the secrets."

"Do you have any secrets locked inside your butt?
You can share them with me if you want."

"I don't have any secrets locked inside my butt Daisy.
Stay away from my butt."

"Let's go over this bridge."

"Did you see that guy over there? He was carrying four 
Subway sandwiches. Four sandwiches! 
He needs to learn how to share."

"I think I see the sandwiches! Let's go now! I need a power snack 
before I go flirt with the ladies."

"Bruce and I borrowed a sandwich from that guy we saw earlier.
Our paws smell like sourdough bread now."

"I see a giant goose over there! I'm going to try and ride him 
before he takes off into the wind."

We hope you have a great weekend!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

They Couldn't Hear The Air Conditioner Blasting Because They Were Busy Eating A Chicken Quesadilla On The Bed

Hi Everyone!

It is hot outside! We are beating the heat by cranking up
the air conditioner and hanging out inside. Bruce and Daisy
love lounging next to one another all day when it's too hot
to go out. The hotter it is outside, the more demanding
these two become inside.

"Can you make us a chicken quesadilla? Make sure you make it 
on the Foreman Grill and not on the stove. Also, put some dipping
sauce in a little container next to the quesadilla. We would also 
like two glasses of iced tea with crushed ice. It's very important 
to make sure the ice is crushed and not cubed. You better hurry, 
Pretty in Pink is coming on in five minutes, and we would like 
our food before the opening credits."

We hope everyone is staying cool!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

I Found Her Propped Up On The Recliner With Her Feet Soaking In My Mayonnaise Jar

Hi Everyone!
It's meeee Daisy!

"Do you like my glamour shot?
Let me show you what glamour looks like after it's been dipped 
in a bag of flour."

"Surprise! Yeah, I dipped my face into a bag of flour. 
It felt pretty good too. I'm not ashamed. Hey, do you have any 
mayonnaise? I once read this magazine article that said you 
should soak your feet in a jar of mayonnaise at the same time 
you have a flour mask on your face. Don't judge me. Just give 
me the mayonnaise, and we will never speak of
 this incident again!
Mayonnaise now!"

"Hey fellas, you like what you see? I'm a modern day 
sexy pug Shake 'N Bake."

We hope you have a sexy Wednesday!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Snacks Began To Fall From The Sky As He Was Taking A Poo In The Sunlight

Hi Everyone!

What have you been up to lately?
I can't believe I haven't posted any updates in months!
We took a ridiculously long blogging hiatus after my laptop
took a poo. The hiatus got a little out of hand, but we are back!
We have so much to catch up on!

Bruce, Daisy and I have spent these past two months going out
and enjoying our summer. It didn't really start getting hot out
here until this week, so we have been able to explore and
hang out at some new parks.

It's going to take a while to get you updated on what we have
been up to this summer, so I'll start by showing you some photos
that I took this past weekend at Cedar River Park in Renton.

"Smokin soy balls, I'm tangled in the leashes! Untangle me 
before I slip and fall into someone's picnic basket. That would be 
tragic if I accidentally fell face first into someone's sandwich. 
I would hope if that happens, the sandwich has baby 
pickles on it. That would be delicious. 
On second thought, don't untangle me."

"Baby pickles and delicious sandwiches now!"

"Hey, did you guys know that I can flare my nostrils out? Yeah, I can do it. It looks just like a turkey flaring out its wings. I'll show you sometime. It really gets me noticed with the ladies."

"Don't lie Bruce. The only thing I've ever seen you flare out is 
your butthole when you're taking a poo."

"Speaking of buttholes, I was on the computer and I accidentally 
Googled the phrase dog butt. You know what came up? 
A video of a dog barking, and it looked like his 
butthole was barking too. It was weird. It made me 
never want to Google those two words together again."

"Can I change the subject here? I need a snack and I need it badly! I'm getting a blood sugar low, and it's looking like I might need a hot dog in the next few minutes."

"Please? Okay, I'll settle for some chicken strips instead."

"Blood sugar low! The Bruce needs it badly!"

"Fine, you're no fun. I'll wait until we get back to the apartment.
I'll sit out here and sun myself instead. How was my acting with 
this one? I took a few acting classes while we were on a 
blogging hiatus. Can you tell?"

We hope you have a great Tuesday!