Monday, December 30, 2013

She Ordered Her Whipped Cream In A Way That Embarrassed Bruce

"Good day sir!"

"Hath thou any whipped cream for a fair pug maiden?"

"Wouldst thou be so kind to spare me a shot of 
protein powder in my whippy cream?"

"This is so embarrassing."

"Do you think they'll realize we're related?"

We hope you have a great day!

Thursday, December 26, 2013

After The Festivities, They Needed A Long Nap And A Bottle Of Bubbly Banana Juice

Hi Everyone!
Did you have a nice Christmas?

I took a ton of photos yesterday, but this one pretty much
sums up how exhausted Bruce and Daisy were after Christmas
was over. Bruce and Daisy had a great Christmas, and we hope
you all did too! We can't wait to blog with you tomorrow!

We hope you have a great Thursday!

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Monday, December 23, 2013

They Tried To Bake Santa A Batch Of Cookies That Were Not Tainted With Gas Clouds

Hi Everyone!

Are you ready for Christmas?
Bruce and Daisy opened one of their Christmas gifts early
this year. I ordered Bruce and Daisy a Woofie Warmer from
Melissa and Archie, and the warmers arrived in the mail the
other day! Here are some photos of Bruce and Daisy
wearing their warmers.

"We must prepare for the arrival of Santa!"

"I am so serious right now!"

"We don't even have any cookies baked!
I made the dough, but Daisy ruined the dough with her fart 
clouds. She couldn't fart next to the dough, 
she had to fart into it."

"These are lies I tell you!"

"All...well, maybe I did fart into the dough just a little."

"I don't think she realizes how long it takes to make 
cookie dough. I mean, does she know how strenuous 
it can be to open the plastic on the dough, and then roll 
that dough onto the cookie sheet?"

"Strenuous I tell you!"

"Well, since I have to buy more cookie dough, 
we might as well make a quick stop at PetSmart!"

"Let's shop till we drop!
I'll take all of these! Throw some of those cookies I like 
into the basket while you're at it."

"Daisy, can we just for once focus on how sexy I look in this 
basket right now? All the ladies want me."

We hope you are enjoying your week!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Her Face Swelled Up Like A Beautiful Christmas Ornament That Was Too Big For The Tree

Hi Everyone!

What have you been up to lately?
Can you believe Christmas is next week already?
A few days ago, Daisy decided to give me a run for my
Christmas money. I had to take Daisy over to the emergency
vet the other night because her face had swollen up to about
three times its normal size. Her entire pug body had also
broken out into an itchy, and painful red rash.

I'm still not sure what she had an allergic reaction to.
I think she might have eaten a Christmas tree pine needle.
Whatever it was, it didn't agree with her. Her face went back
to it's original size after the doctor gave her a steroid and a
Benadryl shot. She hasn't had any more problems since
our ER visit, so we're pretty excited about that!

"Does my face look puffy to you?"

"I mean, it feels bigger, but I can't really tell."

"You know, I had the urge to charge something to your 
credit card this week, so I think this couldn't be better timing."

"Do you think we get WiFi in this room?"
You know what I've been thinking about today? I have been 
thinking about Keanu Reeves all day long. I wonder if he is 
going to be in any new movies next year... I'm losing my 
train of thought. OK, I know what I was going to say."

"While we're here, I'm going to give you a few ideas of what 
I would like for Christmas. 
Write this down."

"I would like a unicorn rocking chair made entirely of velvet. 
I would like a notebook with Ryan Gosling's face on it. 
I also need a box of golden matchsticks, and a giant 
bag of marshmallows. I would also like a tent, 
and a pair of red cashmere gloves from Nordstrom."

"You work hard for the money, bow bow. 
So hard for the money, bow bow.
You work hard for my money, so I better spend it riiight." 

We hope you are having a super sexy week!

Monday, December 2, 2013

She Ripped That Fall Sweater In Half Trying To Squeeze Her Sexy Out Of It

Hi Everyone!

What have you been up to lately?
Bruce, Daisy and I have been pretty busy over the past few
weeks. I can't believe we haven't posted what we have been up to
since last month. I snapped some super sexy Fall photos of Bruce
and Daisy a few weeks ago. I wanted to share them with you
before it's Winter, and all the trees are completely bald.

"These trees will be bald soon."

"Bald like the spot near my rear cheeks."

"I have a bald spot near my butthole."

"No one needed to know that Daisy.
That's an overshare for sure."

"Sometimes I just come out here and think about
burritos all day long."

"Mmm, burritos."

"When I come out here, I think about mice
wearing little baby sweaters."

"Little sweaters are so easy to get into, but you can't
get out of them sometimes!"

"Has that ever happened to you before?
Have you ever gotten stuck in a sweater?"

"I was once in Victoria's Secret trying on a pink velour
tracksuit sweater, and I ripped it in half trying to
squeeze my sexy out of it."

"Can you believe the nerve when they told me I had to buy it!"

"Clothing stores need to post a sign, or put a disclaimer on
the garment tags that read, "If you rip it in half, you buy it."
Because people don't just assume these things."

"I thought we were talking about burritos.
What happened to this conversation?"

We hope you have a great week!