Friday, May 24, 2013

The Birds Whisper In The Dark And It Makes Her Face Feel Tired When She's At The Park

Hi Everyone.

"Something has been on my mind lately."

"Why do birds start chirping at 5:00am? 
Look at the photo below with the clouds. I was having a dream 
last night that looked exactly like this. It was the bestess dream ever."

"Now look at me in this photo. This is what my face looked like
after those birds started chirping and woke me up from that 
amazing dream. I feel sleep deprived. I need my beauty sleep!"

"This face doesn't just look sexy and fresh naturally."

"Alright, yes it does. I lied a little because I didn't want to sound 
vain or anything. But really, a lady needs her beauty sleep. 
I heard that if you don't get enough beauty sleep you fart pink 
gas from your rear all day long. I don't think it smells like 
cotton candy either. I heard it from this lady who was 
buying a lottery ticket at 7-11 and she was like, 
"Giiiirl, it happened to me once and I couldn't stop it!"
That sounds terrifying.
Bruce get out of my butt. I am telling a story!"

"I can't talk about being vain for too long around Bruce. It might 
remind him of that time he popped a vein in his head because 
he was concentrating on his sexy too hard."

"Did someone say vein?
Don't ever talk about veins around me. It's a sensitive subject."

 "Make me a burrito. Now!"

We hope you are having a great week!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Her Nose Was Hungry For Chips But It Had To Settle For A Piece Of Plastic Instead

Hi Everyone!
It's Monday, and I have a serious question for you.
Do you I have something on my face?

I am



We hope you have a great Monday!

Friday, May 17, 2013

They Shielded Themselves From The Rain By Taking Cover Under A Giant Veggie Sandwich

Hi Everyone!

Bruce and Daisy are hanging out inside today.
It's rainy out, and they refuse to get their cheeks wet.

"Can you make us some veggie sandwiches? Bruce is sleeping
so I'll take his order. Bruce would like a footlong with extra
lettuce and extra mayo. I want my bread toasted with some
little baby pickles sprinkled in the middle of my sandwich.
I feel like you are not taking your sandwich making duties
seriously. This is serious. Hey, can you tune the TV to
channel 63? The Real World Portland is on and I need
to catch up on the episodes I missed last week. Can you
make me a vanilla milkshake while you are at it?
Have fun at work today. Bruce and I will take
care of the place while you are gone."

We hope you have a great Friday!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

They Sat Under An Oak Tree And Ate Thin Slices Of Cracker Cheese

Hi Everyone!
Are you having a nice week?

In honor of Wednesday, I thought I would post some
super sexy Wednesday shots of Bruce and Daisy at the park.

Bruce, Daisy and I hope you have a sexy Wednesday!

Monday, May 13, 2013

The Mountain Was Tall And It Swallowed The Gift Card I Was Going To Use At The Mall

Hi Everyone!
Did you have a nice weekend?

On Mother's Day, my mom and I went on a hike. I told my mom 

I would take her to the Cheesecake Factory later that evening 
if she went hiking with me. I had never hiked this trail before, 
and I didn't want to get murdered all by myself out there, 
so she agreed to come with me. 

What I left out, was how hard the hike might be. I anticipated 
the hike would take roughly two hours to complete. I was wrong!
The hike ended up taking a little over three hours, and it was 
entirely uphill for the first hour and a half. I could just hear 
my mom in the back yelling, "Dana! We need to slow down! 
If you don't slow down, I will fart the loudest fart you have
ever heard once we reach the top of this mountain. I'll do it 
in front of all the other hikers when everyone is having a 
moment of zen. It will be so peaceful and quiet, and then 
BAM! Think about that." 

Despite the rough terrain, it was totally worth it once 
we reached the top. Here are some photos I snapped along the way.

Bruce, Daisy and I hope you have a great Monday!

Thursday, May 9, 2013

He Names Parties After Himself And Takes Sour Cream Very Seriously

Hi Everyone!
It's meeeeee Bruce!

"I'm thinking about throwing a party tomorrow. 
The name of the party is going to be, Fiesta de la Bruce.
Yes, I name parties after myself. Look at my eye right now.
This is the eyeball of a pug who can throw one crazy party.
Be sure to bring some sour cream to the party. 
You can never have too much sour cream."