Friday, January 28, 2011

I Wouldn't Get Stuck In Traffic If I Had A Dog Stroller

Hi Everyone!

What are you up to for this weekend?
The weather is supposed to be nice here in Vegas, so I am
planning to take Daisy out as much as possible. Daisy loves
going outside, but only when she feels like it. I sometimes
find myself attempting to coax her out for a walk with
a snack.

"I'll only step away from my bone if there is a pack of
naked sexy man pugs waiting for me, or a giant unattended
bucket of chicken. Are there sexy naked man pugs outside,
and a bucket of unattended chicken?"

"I didn't think so! Lies!"

"When are you buying me a stroller? I'll go outside all
day long if you push me. It wouldn't hurt you to burn
a few calories you know."

"I would like a stroller, and a pad of paper now!
Don't forget a pen either! Jot this down. I need you to
run by Petco and Walgreens. I need you to pick up
three new bones, some baby powder and a beef
jerky stick. Don't ask questions,
just do it."

Daisy and I hope you have a fun weekend!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Me And My Gorilla Are Going Out For Yogurt

Hi Everyone!

I came across my grandmothers giant stuffed gorilla
the other day, and Daisy is in love with him.

"Gorilla, go make me a sandwich! I like it crunchy,
and slightly toasted."

"Can we put him in the car later, so we can use the carpool lane?
I think we could cut our driving time in half if we bring
him with us. Let's head over to Starbucks and try
this out."

"What? I never said I didn't break the law every now and again."

"Do you think we look sexy together?
I should run over to Bed Bath & Beyond, and pick up
a pillow for my gorilla."

"Maybe I'll go take a napsies before I run any errands.
I'll let you know how the carpool lane goes. I'm confident
the idea will work. If I get caught, the worst that will happen
is I will receive a warning, and then another warning after
I fart in the police officers face."

Daisy and I hope you are having a great week!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Picture This: My Pug Face On A Card

Hi Everyone!

Daisy and I were over at Target the other day,
and we couldn't help but notice all of the pug Valentine
cards out on the shelves. There are quite a few out these days!
I think the sexy pug card trend is catching on.

Seeing these Valentine cards, reminded us to enter Winston's
Valentine Card Exchange. We're pretty excited about it. We have
never participated in one of these before, but we love sending
cards! We need to start looking for the
sexiest card out there.

"Wait, what do you mean we are buying a Valentine card
this year? I thought we were going to take my sexy pug mug,
and mass produce it? Let's just keep that option open,
because I really want to see my face on a card."

"Do you see how the light hits my face from this angle?
Study this. Learn this. Because we are putting my face on
a card this year."

Daisy and I hope you have a great Friday!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

She Can Taste The Whip Cream In Her Dreams

"Reunited with my big fluffy bed, and it feeeels sooo gooood."

"Hello, I said it feels so good. That's your cue to start giving
me a deep tissue wrinkle massage. Hey, do you think we can pick
up my boyfriend later? You don't have the option of saying no.
I already told him you would take us by Starbucks to see if
the barista will give us some whippy cream in one of
those new Trenta cup sizes. It's going to be a
monumental whip cream experience if we
can get our paws on one of
those cups."

"I'm going to take a quick napsies. When I wake up,
I would like exactly three pieces of banana slices waiting
for me, and a bowl of slightly chilled purified water."

"I hope everyone has a great Thursday.
I am going to sprinkle some sexy
dust on you in my dreams."

Monday, January 17, 2011

We Borrowed The Desert For An Afternoon

Hi Everyone!

Did you enjoy your three day weekend?
Daisy and I tried to stretch out our weekend for
as long as we could. We went on a few park adventures,
and I tried to find a new hiking spot. Imagine my surprise,
when I stumbled on a great hiking spot for Daisy and I
right across the street from our place!

"My pug body is banging, so I didn't feel the need to
go on a strenuous hike today. You know what's more strenuous
than hiking? Sipping iced tea, while watching Ocean's Eleven."

"When my mom went hiking today, she found a pink cactus.
She wanted to bring it back to our condo and put it on the
patio, but I was like heck no, my strawberry plants
are going out there."

Let's hope Home Depot doesn't run out of strawberry plants,
before I can pick one up for Daisy.

Friday, January 14, 2011

I Put Mayonnaise On My Lips For Moisture

Hi Everyone!

What are you up to for the weekend?
Daisy will probably be taking two 16 hour naps,
and heading over to the park. It's hard to believe that
not even a week ago, it was snowing here, and now it
is in the high 60's. We plan on taking full
advantage of the weather, before the
temperature drops again.

"Make sure you bring some of my purpley poo bags
when we go to the park. They make my poo smell

"Speaking of sexy, go make me a sexy sandwich.
I want the lettuce to crunch in my mouth, like a
Carl's Jr commercial. Just because my eyeball is
rolling into the back of my head, doesn't mean
I don't notice you are not taking my
demands seriously."

"I'm having a moment. Quick, take my picture
before I have lettuce and mayonnaise all over my
pug lips. Sandwich now!"

Daisy and I hope you have a fun weekend!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

On The Count Of Three You Will Start To Feel Sleepy

Daisy makes falling asleep on a
table chair look sexy.

Daisy and I hope you are having
a great week!

Monday, January 10, 2011

The Insurance Company Stole My Panties

Hi Everyone!

Today has been a whirlwind.

Daisy and I have spent the last few days, as well as
the entire morning today, trying to sort out why in the
holy soy balls, was my health insurance abruptly canceled
without someone notifying me. I went to pick up an eye drop
prescription over the weekend, and was waved away by the
pharmacist telling me I no longer had insurance, and
unless I wanted to pay $169.00 out of pocket for
the drops, I would not be picking up
my prescription.

"Lady pharmacist, don't you know that my mom has an
eye infection, and if she doesn't get those drops,
her eye is going to look really gross. I've got
59 cents and 89 pieces of kibble,
now give her those drops!"

To make the matter even crazier, the insurance company
recently cashed my check that was due to pay my insurance
for the next two months. They took my money, and then
took my insurance! Oh no they didn't!

Luckily, I have a lot of experience with people taking my
money and running, so I'm working on having them send a refund
check for the weeks that I did not have insurance. I will most
definitely not be staying with this company. Once a scammer,
always a scammer. Have any of you had to deal with
anything like this? It drives me nuts.

Friday, January 7, 2011

The Park Whispered Taco Dust In My Ear

Hi Everyone!

Daisy and I went over to the park yesterday,
and the entire time we were there, Daisy was on
the hunt for a little snack.

"Does anyone know if there are any parks in Vegas
with taco trucks in the parking lot? I love tacos, but
no one here shares my enthusiasm for tacos. Sometimes,
after you have an intense workout like I just had,
you need a snack. Know what I mean?"

"Do you know what happens when a pug frolics through
crunchy park leaves? Okay, I'll tell you what happens.
A genie pops out of the grass, and directs you to
the nearest taco vendor. Taco now!"

Daisy and I hope you have a great weekend!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

She Colored Her Nose With A Bone Crayon

Hi Everyone!

How is your week going?
I recently gave Daisy two new bones,
not including the one she received for Christmas,
and she has chewed all of them down to the nubs!
This pug goes through bones like you would not believe.
I have to throw them out after one chew session so she
doesn't choke on what's left of it. Ever since she
had her dental a few months ago, she loves
being able to chew on bones without her
teeth causing her any discomfort.

After she chewed one of her bones, I found her sitting
in the kitchen with bone substance all over her face.
The white seems to have fused to her nose,
so hopefully I can get it all off soon.
Until then, this is Daisy's new look.

"Listen, I can't be accountable for my actions. No sexy
pug can. At least I didn't open the fridge, and dip my face
in cool whip. Or did I... Anyway, I'm keeping this look."

Daisy and I hope you have a great week!

Monday, January 3, 2011

Say This Three Times Fast: The Snow In Vegas Tried To Melt Daisy's Pug Vanilla Cone Dream

Hi Everyone!

Did you enjoy your weekend?
Daisy and I kept our weekend pretty low key.
The weather has been cold here in Vegas,
so cold in fact, that we woke up to a
surprise earlier today. Snow!

"I don't get it. What is it? Does it taste
like a snow cone? If I squint my good eye, the
snow starts to look like a vanilla Dairy Queen cone."

"Okay, I'm done with this. Carry me inside,
and place me next to the fireplace. Do you have any
giant marshmallows? Maybe you can roast some of those
for me. As you roast those, I'll sit by the fire,
and watch my sexy pug shadow dance
in the light."

Daisy and I also took the weekend to finish our
pug painting. We'll be listing it on our Etsy page

"Is this supposed to be me?
Oh, it's not me? Who is this then?
Tell me now, exactly who is this?
Have you been cheating on me
with another pug?"

"Let me change one thing. I just want to add an
Elvis lip to this sexy pug. Where's the paint brush?
Paint brush now!"

Daisy and I hope you have a great Monday!