Thursday, April 28, 2011

I Need A Straw So My Chapstick Doesn't Smear

Hi Everyone!
It's meeeee Daisy!

Thank you for sharing your stories with me the other day.
I appreciate you giving my mom some advice on what she should
do about the situation after I was bit near my butt. She did report
what happened to the management in our complex. My mom is
taking extra precautions now. She even carries me around
our block if I am going out to the car because the dog
that went after me looks like she might be able to
jump over her balcony and come after me again.

I have been spending the last few days recuperating from my
small wound by watching my favorite shows on TV, and catching
up on some Royal history since the Royal wedding is happening
in a few hours. I'll probably be watching that coverage for
like 32 days straight, so I felt the need to mentally
prepare for it like I would a marathon.

I have also been getting massages, and hanging out with a
few of my boyfriends. I took Kitty and Coco's idea about having
one of my boyfriends fan me with a palm tree branch very
seriously, and my boyfriend is fanning me as I type this.
He is also getting me a glass of ice tea.

"Make sure you put one of those yellow straws in my
tea too! I don't want to reapply my chapstick."

What are you up to for the rest of the week?

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I Got Bit Near The Butt And Then I Pooped Out A Skittle

Hi Everyone!

I know it's a little late, but did you have a nice Easter?
Daisy and I spent the Holiday eating, going for walks and well...
yep that's about it. Our weekend wasn't too eventful,
but yesterday sure was, but unfortunately
not in a fun way.

My mom (Daisy's Grandma) and I decided to take Daisy over to
the park, and as were just about to get into our car, my
neighbors new dog who has about 55 pounds on Daisy,
and who was not on a leash, charged us at full
force and attacked Daisy for no reason!

It all happened so fast, and I was able to quickly lift Daisy
up with one arm to get her off the floor and away from the
other dog. The dog continued to try and bite Daisy even
after she was in my arms. Daisy was lucky to escape
with no major injuries and just some small scrapes
around her back legs and a bite that didn't go
very deep. More than anything the situation
just really shook her up. I would have to
say this was the scariest thing to ever
happen to us while living here.

Our neighbors who let the dog out, reacted to this
whole ordeal by scoffing at us, and not even
bothering to ask if Daisy was all right.
This shocked me just as much as
the attack did!

I don't blame the dog for what happened, I can only
imagine the life she had before she came into our
complex. I just hope my neighbors keep her on
her leash, and perhaps seek out some
training for her aggression so this
does not happen again.

"Check out the bite mark near my butt!"

"Not coolsies! I instantly saw my pug life flash
before my eyes. Someone better give me some gourmet
chicken to compensate me for what I just had
to go through!"

Have any of your furry children ever been bit before?
It is not a sexy experience to go through.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Rub Oil On My Feet And Give Me A Foot Massage

Hi Everyone!

Are you afraid of feet? How about pug feet?
I hope not, because this post is dedicated to Daisy's feet.

Daisy rolled herself out on the carpet the other day,
and expected me to give her a foot massage. At first I thought
she just wanted a regular back massage. But after a few minutes,
Daisy made it clear she wanted a foot massage as well. She kept
raising her paws higher and higher into the air, until they
were almost in my face.

"You like that? Gimme a massage. Make sure to rub
some oil between my toes."

"Can you place an ad on Craigslist for me?
The ad should read as follows: Calling all pug lovers,
Do you like massages? How about getting massages? That's great
if you do, but that's too bad for you, because I am a sexy pug
who wants all the massages to myself. Must be able to efficiently
rub oil between my toes, tell awesome jokes, make great poppy
corn and be able to lift 24.5 pounds of sexy pug if I don't
feel like walking. Must also have a PhD in sexy."

"Do you think I will eventually need a lip lift?
Get back to my foot massage please."

Daisy and I hope you are having a great week!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Personal Moments For Personal Pug Thoughts

Hi Everyone!

Thank you so much for the Birthday messages!
I had such a great day, and your posts made my day
even better!

Daisy didn't fart on my cake, but she did try and dive
head first into the frosting to get a little taste.
Daisy loves parties, so I am already starting to
plan her June Gotcha Day! I am hoping to find
a dog bakery that can bake her a little
sexy pug cake.

"What? I wanted a little taste!"

With all the excitement of this week, Daisy will probably
take the weekend to relax with her bone, and make some
new friends at the dog park.

"Point me in the direction of the man pugs please."

"I want you to take 355 photos of me with my bone.
It is very important you get my sexy side when taking
these photos."

"When I chew on my bone, I think about a lot of things.
For instance, what is the longest pug fart on record?
How loud was it? And, if there is a record, can that
record be broken with practice?"

"I need a personal moment right now. I need to
go practice my gas clouds."

"I am hiding behind my bone right now because I
told you I need a personal moment!"

"Alright, I'll take a nap, and when I wake up I would like
exactly 18 cheese puffs waiting for me, with a glass of slightly
chilled purified water."

What are your plans for this weekend?

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Where's My Marilyn Wig? I Have A Birthday Song To Sing Here!

Hi Everyone!

It's Meee Daisy!

Guess what? Today is my mom's birthday!
When I saw the cake on the table I was like,
a party for me? And then I thought, this couldn't
be my party. You know why it couldn't be my party?
Because there wasn't a pony, or a lifetime
supply of purpley poo bags.

"Hmmm, what should I get my mom for her birthday?"

I had the perfect gift! I would go into the bathroom,
wrap myself in toilet paper, and present myself as the sexiest
birthday gift ever! Okay, I didn't really wrap myself in toilet
paper, because I couldn't reach it, but mentally I imagined
myself wrapped in it.

"Happy Birthday to youuu, Happy Birthday to youuu,
Happy Birthday, I am such a sexy pug I can hardly handle it,
Happy Birthday to youuu."

After doing all that thinking and singing, I had to go stretch
out and take a nap.

I hope you have a sexy Wednesday!

Monday, April 11, 2011

I May Have Tainted Your Pancakes With My Gas Cloud

Hi Everyone!

Did you enjoy the weekend?

Apologies for the lack of blog posts lately.
Daisy and I decided to take a mini blog vacation,
but we are back!

Daisy is finished with her antibiotics, and is
back to her sexy self again! She is still minus a little
hearing, but she is doing so great! She is making up for
lost time, and flirting with almost every dog she
comes across.

"Would you believe me I if I said that I can bat my eyes
in a sexy way, and at the same time let out a monstrous
gas cloud? Believe it, because that's what I just did!"

We hope you have a great Monday!