Monday, April 12, 2010

Showgirls In April

Give a girl a camera and she'll take a photo of...
herself in a Caesars Palace bathroom.



Over the weekend I went downtown to celebrate my birthday.
For some reason, the only photo I ended up taking was in
a bathroom, next to a Grecian statue door mural.
Star tassels not included.

Unfortunately, I didn't win any money when I was there.
But, I did see a few showgirls standing in line for Cher's show.
They were wearing a lot of feathers. Where do I sign up for
that job? I wonder what kind of interview questions are
asked when applying for a position like that.

Perhaps, "How much feather weight can you hold on your back?"
And, "Do you have any skin allergies to glitter, sequins
or nylon? Are you willing to wear a nylon thong made
of the above craft materials?"

Penny could be a Vegas Showgirl.
Who could deny this kind of sexiness?



Penny pretty much slept the entire weekend. These seizure pills
are making her extremely tired and dizzy. She barely has time
to lie down before her face hits the floor and I start
to hear loud snoring. Hopefully she will be back
to normal once we get the dosage figured out,
and her triglycerides under control.

You've all had some great suggestions for what I can give her
for healthy snacks. I'm going to try steamed carrots,
and see how she does with those. No more whipped
cream for her. I'll switch her to low fat,
sugar free Cool Whip instead.
Just don't tell Penny.

What did you do this weekend?

Friday, April 9, 2010

Weekend Grass With Whipped Cream On The Side


Happy Friday!

Penny is doing much better today. She is still a bit wobbly.
This is most likely due to the medication she is on.
Her doctor called back with the results of her
blood tests, and there was something that
raised a big red flag.

Penny's triglycerides are over 2,000! Holy soy balls!
200 is considered high. The doctor will be speaking with
a neurologist to see if there could be a connection between
the seizures and triglycerides. One thing is certain,
her diet and exercise is going to have to change
dramatically. We're going to have another
appointment soon to speak about what to
do next, so stay tuned.

On another note, something happened this morning to brighten
Penny's day. We got grass! Finally!! Penny wasn't
happy having to do her business on the
classified ads. It's not natural.

Penny is going to be very busy this weekend. She has a full
schedule of hanging out on her grass, resting,
listening to cartoons and eating
whipped cream.

"I am so excited to have grass! Let's light our
newspaper classified ads on fire, and BBQ some soy Kabobs!
Bring me a really delicious non-alcoholic margarita
while you are at it too. No salt!"


I might do something a little different from what Penny
plans to do this weekend. If my neighbors saw me imitating my
pugs actions, they would probably call the cops. No one likes to
have any real fun in this town! I would be pretty entertained
if I went out on my balcony to see someone nude,
on the grass, just trying to get their tan on.
It's only disturbing when that person is
chalk white nude, with a bowl of cool
whip between their legs.

We hope you have a great weekend!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

This Sexy Pug Feels Like Poop


Hey Everyone.

First off, thank you to everyone sending well wishes to Penny.
Penny became really sick this morning. She was very disoriented,
throwing up, urinating on herself, and she could not walk.
I rushed her to her doctor, where they ran blood tests,
and took X-rays.

While she was under observation, she had a seizure.
They put her on anti-seizure medicine, and made
her very comfortable. So comfortable in fact,
she still has not fully woken up. She's
propped up on a pillow, under the
covers, in my bed.

The doctor thinks she had at least one seizure early
this morning. Triggering the sickness and
disorientation.

She is really out of it right now. I am babying her.
Her X-rays came back normal, as did her basic blood
tests. We will have to wait until tomorrow for the
results of the more extensive blood tests.

I'm going to watch her carefully. She's probably going to
have a rough night. As if she hasn't had it rough already.
For now, we'll monitor her on the seizure medicine and
go from there.

Penny won't allow me to post photos of her while she's not
feeling 100% sexy. I can't blame her. So, here are some
older super sexy photos of Penny until she's feeling
better.





I'll post any updates, and let you know how she is doing.
Until then, we're going to get some rest. To say the
least, it has been a long day.
Blog with you later!

We hope you have a great weekend!

My Photo Is In Black And White, But My Sexiness Is In Color


Hi Everyone!

Penny and I hope you are having a great week!

Penny hasn't been up to much these past few
days. She has firmly planted herself in the kitchen,
waiting for her next meal. I need to start getting her out
more to take her mind off the food. Anyway, here are
some black and white photo snapshots of how Penny
spent her Wednesday night, and Thursday morning.

"Do you see how serious my blind right eye looks right now?
I guess my right eye would be to your left, but do you
see how it looks? It's Hungry! My right eye, to your
left is hungry! Feed my hungry eye some kibble.
And then some whipped cream for a little snack."


"I think I see my reflection in your camera lens. Hello Sexy."


"Keep the fridge closed! If you let the cold air out,
my whipped cream won't be properly chilled."


"Make sure you get a photo of my good side. I feel the
sexiest from the left side of my pug face. Will this be posted
on my blog? Tell them I said, Hello sexy bloggers."



Have a great Thursday!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Classifieds On A Windy Monday


Happy Monday!

Penny and I hope everyone had a great Easter!
Penny and I were trapped indoors yesterday,
as well as today. We are having a severe
wind storm, and we almost flew
down the stairs going outside
for a minute.

Penny and I are not fans of the wind.
It messes up our hair poof.



We still don't have any grass.
Can you believe they took out Penny's grass
a month ago! We never realized how nice it
was to have grass, until it was gone.



The people of Las Vegas don't realize, not having
grass for our sexy animals, is like not having any toilet
paper for humans. Maybe people here wouldn't mind using
a bathroom mat. From what I have seen so far, that
wouldn't surprise me.


Penny decided to make a
song about this mess. Here it is:

"Trapped insiiiide, forced to take a poop on some classified ads.
The ads were crunchy, and they flipped up with the gusty wind.
Touching my pug butt-hole. Yes they did. I don't want a used
84' Toyota held together by tape, or a tiny stripper
wearing candy canes. I don't need a cable guy
that will steal my whipped cream, or a
dry cleaners that will burn a hole
in my sexy sweater.
I just want my grass. I just want my grass"

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Dirty Little Chocolate Secret


Happy April!

Penny and I have always looked forward to April.
We have many family birthdays in April, and this gives me
an opportunity to eat a lot of cake! I love chocolate cake.
Maybe more than Penny's beefy backside loves whipped
cream. Just kidding! No one can top Penny's
addiction. But, I do love cake. Even my
perfume smells like chocolate cake.
Any opportunity I have to eat
cake, or smell like cake,
I'm taking it.



It's my dirty secret.
One day, someone is going to find me barricaded in a closet
at a party, or an event, with 4 slices of cake on my lap.
Frosting all over my face. My party dress smeared
with icing. Chocolate chaos everywhere!

And when they ask me, "What's going on in here Dana?
I'm worried about you. I think you may have a problem."
I'll simply say, "I used to be fat OK! I can have
as many slices of chocolate cake as I want!
Or, as many as this dress can hold before
buttons start popping off.
Shut the closet door
behind you!"

Is this an April fools joke story? Or could
this dirty little chocolate secret really be true?
Penny and I will never tell. Unless,
incriminating chocolate cake
picture evidence surfaces
one day.

Penny and I hope you have a great day!