She Put On Her Hot Pink Sweater Vest And Glided Down The Aisles In A Shopping Cart Made Of Glittery Gold

"I never leave home without putting on my Chapstick. 

You never know who you might meet when you go out. 

Chapstick is very important. Sometimes I even put Chapstick 

on my whiskers. It tames them. I can't be seen with crazy 

whiskers. I once put Chapstick all over my feet. I rubbed it on 

my feet because Bruce told me that it would accelerate nail

growth. It did not help with my nail growth. I ended up 

tracking it all over the apartment! I had to go out and 

buy another tube of Chapstick. The checkout lady at 

Walgreens was like, "Why are you buying Chapstick? 

And also, why are you wearing a tight pink velour 

tracksuit?" I couldn't tell her the Chapstick story. 

I was too embarrassed." 

"Can I buy sexy juice in here or what?"