"Can I tell you something very personal?"
"I have a strong passion for cheese."
"Not just any cheese, but the Kraft Singles cheese."
"I love the feeling of the plastic wrapper crinkling
between my paws right before I peel out the cheese.
Unwrapping that cheese is just like unwrapping a gift
on Christmas morning. It's very special.
It's also very tasty."
"Let me tell you what's special to me.
I am reading an article on Ryan Gosling over here,
and the noise you are making from crinkling that
cheese wrapper is ruining my moment with Ryan."
"This time is precious to me, and that
cheese wrapper is ruining my moment with Ryan!"
"My time with Ryan is precious!
Why can't anyone understand this?"