"Hey guess what?
I took my first selfie today."
"At first, I started posing like this."
"And then like this."
"It took me a while to get into the groove of taking this selfie."
"I had to think about a lot of things before taking this photo.
For instance, should I leave my shirt on?"
"Should I wear a bow tie?"
"Should I put on Bon Jovi?
I felt the song Wanted Dead Or Alive would be appropriate."
"I had to consider all of these things.
In the end, I went with just being myself."
"Here it is. My very first selfie!"
"Sexy selfie number two, featuring my beard."
"And finally, selfie number three featuring my pug feet."
"These pug feet are made for walking,
and that's just what they'll do."
"I'm walking to Denny's after this."
"Take my paw and tell me you love me.
Take my paw, and promise me you will take me to Denny's
for an omelet this afternoon."
"Cheesy omelet now!"